She Will Have Her Way formerly I Don't Know
by Maggs
Summary: ML kinda a first season AU Shippers should read me!
1. 1

AN: we need some Max and Logan shit we have a serious lack of it the poem Max reads is song IX by W H Auden. Enjoy  
  
It was warm outside Max couldn't feel it, but she could tell that it was warm out. How could it be warm, shouldn't a day like this one be rainy and cold. The sun shouldn't be shining, birds shouldn't be merrily chirping. She slowly stood and began to speak. Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone. Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.  
  
Her voice was shaky as she spoke but the few gathered on that cold earth could hear her. She wished that it would be like it was in the movies, and she couldn't feel or think. She wished didn't know what was going on or quite where she was. But she knew exactly where she was and could replay every damn second that had led them there in her head every word every look until the last  
  
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead. Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.  
  
It didn't matter how they had ended up here or why. The only thing that mattered was that she was here now speaking at Logan's funeral. It hurt so bad she could barly stand barly breate. She just knew she had to make it through his eulogy before she could rest; she needed to do at least that for him.  
  
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.  
  
All that kept playing in her head was when she had gotten the call. Matt Sung he had just identified Logan's body shot twice in the head by a friend of a drugloard he had put away. He was in jail now but it hardly seemed fair Logan was in the ground. It was two days until there six month anniversary.  
  
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.  
  
She couldn't take it anymore this was so hard without him. She was so tired all she wanted to do now was to sleep and to never wake up, to be with him again. Everything just hurt so much now the world was cold and empty.  
  
Those of you who know...knew Logan well know what a great man he was. He fought to save and protect the innocent, with nothing in return, he was the only real super-hero to live. I got the plesasure to not only know him but to love him. It was the best thing I ever did in my life, and I wouldn't trade one second that I had with him for anything in the world. Thank you all for coming today to remember this remarkable man. Just do me a favor, don't say goodbye don't let him go keep him alive in your hearts forever.  
  
Max threw a rose into the ground over his coffin and lifted up a hand full of dirt crumbling it in her hand before letting it slide from her fingers. The first of the dirt that would latter be pilled six feet deep.  
  
She went back to his penthouse she had to do one last thing for him.  
  
This is a streaming freedom video bulletin. The cabel hack wll last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city. Some sad news to report today (her voice was not scrambled as his was) Eyes only, or Logan Cale as he was known by those close to him, was killed yesterday by this man David Vartan a drug dealer. Logan will be missed by all especially me. I would like to ask that everyone who believed in Logan, in eyes only to morn with me the great loss we have suffered today, but to not give up, never give up, keep fighting, for yourselves, for him.  
  
She went to bed noticing already that the sheets were starting to loose his scent and soon it would all be gone.  
  
She didn't get up for days she wouldn't eat wouldn't talk she just shut down, doing anything else required too much effort. She kept thinking that it wasn't supposed to be this way it wasn't supposed to end like this they were supposed to grow old together, now she would be alone forever with his memory to haunt her. There were times she would fall asleep and have such vivid dreams of him. When she would wake it was so painful when she realized that it was just a dream that he was in fact dead and gone, that she decided to not sleep anymore. So she just laid there still and quite as if she was dead too.  
  
AN: if I get reviews that request it to be happy it will be made happy if not it gets sadder. 


	2. 2

Ch 2 enjoy  
  
"Ok I'm here how's she doing?" Bling asked Cindy as he walked through the penthouse door.  
"She wont leave the room." OC's boice was almost ragged she herself looked tired and worn just taking care of Max these past two weeks, Bling couldn't imagine how bad Max must be.  
"How long does she stay in there for?"  
"Two weeks"  
"You mean she hasn't come out since..."  
"The funeral" she finished his thought. "She stopped sleeping last week and will only eat when I force her to. I'm really worried about her Bling."  
  
"Hey Max, how you feeling" Bling asked cautiously as he walked into the dark room. He tried to not show the shock and concern he felt inside when he first saw Max. Max the super-soldier, the tower of strength, the tough as nails Max, was broken. Now just a hallow shell that barely resembled who she once was.. She was thin, sickly looking, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was a frumpled mess.  
The most disturbing thing was her eyes; ones the shown, wether with love or anger, her eyes always blazed with the brilliant fire of life. Now her eyes were simply brown and dead.  
"Eh" Max made a small noise at his comment just enough to aknowlage that she knew what he said.  
"I hear you havnt left the room."  
"Don't want to." She just wanted this little talk to be done so she could go back to nothingness.  
"What about eating, you love to eat, why arnt you eating anymore?"  
"He's not cooking for me anymore." Max was compleatly honest with him there was no point in lying.  
"You're getting really thin"  
"I'm fine." She didn't even snap when she said this it didn't jet her mad it was just a fact.  
"No Max, your not." She didn't want to play around that was fine with him he could be direct to the point too.  
"So what"  
"So you cant die too." She was silent. "I am going to take your blood, your probably anemic I am going to run some tests and make sure your ok, you should eat something. He would want you to have kept living max"  
"Your right oc she looked horible. I couldn't believe that was max she looked so weak. I took some blood I am going to see if she is anemic and if there is anything more serios yet."  
"You think her seeing it in a blood test would help if there was something seriously wrong with the girl?"  
"Maybe, its worh a shot if she keeps up like this another month or two and shell die."  
"That might be what she wants."  
"I'll be back soon." He said ignoring the comment she had made.  
  
"Hey max how you feeling?" Bling was back in that room two hours later back talking to the same lifeless Max.  
"We did this already remember" She stated  
"Well I have news. Your not anemic there is nothing wrong with you. But you definetly have to start eating better."  
"I told you I was fine Bling."  
"You are, but your also two months pregnate."  
"What?"  
"You are pregnate Max, you are going to be a mother."  
"Logan's child is inside me, he would have been a father."  
  
AN I either write really sad stuff or increadibly fluffy stuff and for the first time my story has a plan I have two storylines already set I just need to know which is wanted happy or sad  
  
either way it will be m/l 


	3. 3

AN: sorry it took so long  
  
"Report your findings soldier" Colonel orders coldly.  
  
"We can't find anything sir it's like he never existed." The soldier replied in a strong voice, but one that still gave away how terrified he was.  
  
"Keep looking."  
  
'Ring Ring'  
  
It was too early in the morning for the phone who the hell was calling now.  
  
"Zack?"  
  
"Maxie.... what is it, what's wrong?" He was awake now he hadn't heard from her since Logan died, but that wasn't what worried him. It was her voice it was completely desperate.  
  
"I need you."  
  
"What is your location?"  
  
"Penthouse."  
  
"I'll be there in three hours."  
  
"Where is she what's wrong what happened." Zack demanded of Cindy as soon as he barged through the door.  
  
"She's in the bedroom, she doesn't come out." Cindy was startled by Zack's appearance at the penthouse, why was he here and why hadn't he been here before? But he left going into the bedroom before she got a chance to ask a single question.  
  
"Hey baby sister." He softly said approaching her noticing her tear stained face and overall hallow appearance. "Thanks for coming" She would have attempted a smile but couldn't remember how.  
  
"Sorry it wasn't sooner, that I didn't come to the funeral."  
  
"It's ok I understand why you weren't there Zack" And she did in her head she knew it wasn't safe, but in her heart she knew she needed her big brother then more then ever and he hadn't been there for her.  
  
"I should have been"  
  
"It wouldn't have changed anything." They both knew that she was trying to convince herself as well as her brother that it was ok for him to have not been at the funeral. So they did what they were good at ignored that fact and moved on.  
  
"So why am I here now?"  
  
"I don't know what to do. He proposed Zack; he didn't even know, and he still wanted to marry me. I wish I could go back and say yes." She was rambling a little but at least she was talking.  
  
"What did you say?" He fallowed her lead not pushing her for answers knowing she was fragile.  
  
"I told him I wasn't ready yet... I was though. I was just scared he would get hurt. I wish I could go back now' I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?"  
  
"About what Maxie?"  
  
"About this" Max lowered her hand and touched her stomach "I don't want to raise my child alone. It wasn't supposed to be this way Zack. It wasn't supposed to happen like this."  
  
"Your pregnant?" Zack couldn't believe his own ears.  
  
"Bling said about two months."  
  
"Are you keeping it?" He couldn't help it. He cared about Max and didn't want her to have to raise a child like this.  
  
"I have to Zack I can't kill his child. But it's not just that I want it. I do want to raise this child watch it grow, I just wanted to do it with Logan." She seemed so lost so broken, and he didn't even know that this was a lot better then she had been just one day ago.  
  
"Well I can tell you this you wont be alone I'm here for you and I know your friends are." He sat down next to her wiped the tears from her face and took her hand. "I mean you have been cooped up here for two weeks and Cindy has sat here the entire time ignoring the rest of her life to look after you. No matter how hard you try Maxie you will never be alone."  
  
"Thank you Zack. I know that it should be easy now to be happy. I mean I will have this baby his baby it will be like a part of him alive. And I know I have all of you here with me to support me and take care of me. Honestly though I don't think I have ever felt more alone. All I keep thinking though is I wish Logan was here. I don't want to have to do this without him, it isn't fair."  
  
"I know maxie and I wish I could bring him back for you I really do. But you have to decide for your child now what you are going to do. If you want to keep it then you cant go on like this you will have to take care of it and yourself you have to start eating and sleeping and getting out of bed every once in a while. You have to start living if you want your child."  
  
"I know, and I am going to. I will take good care of my baby and of myself, but Zack when I need some help will you...."  
  
"Then I will be there to take care of you Maxie."  
  
AN: I am looking for a title since it is still I don't know yet if you have any suggestions let me know. And I might have the next chapter up tonight and another up tomorrow night I have a few written but reviewing them so they will make any sense is a bitch since I am a math major who knows nothing of spelling or grammar and has the writing capabilities of a small child anyway... review 


	4. 4

AN: damn I am supposed to be writing a paper for a class but look at what I do instead.  
  
Max is sleeping in Logans bed but time has obviously passed since she looks better now. 'Two months ago, Zack had come down' thought OC as she went to wake Max, 'They went out together Max's first time out of the apartment in a long time. When they came back she seemed better that light in her eyes was back her hope was back. She told me about the pregnancy how she would be better now. Zack told me later how they had gone to Logan's grave, she now went every day. She was four months pregnant she was healthier then before and happier then before, but she was still missing something. She started wearing an engagement ring about a month ago and wouldn't talk about it. When I asked Zack, who had moved into our old place as I moved into the guestroom of the penthouse, he told me it was the ring Logan had once proposed with. She hadn't been ready to wear it then, but she was ready to now. But that girl needed to go have fun.'  
  
"Come out with me Max" OC had been trying to convince Max to go to crash with her all day  
  
"I don't want to." Max said like a child.  
  
"Max you need to come out with me."  
  
"I need to do I?" Max had laughter in her voice over that idea  
  
"Yes, you do. You need to have some fun."  
  
"Well I'm not capable of it." Max thought her argument was completely logical.  
  
"Yes you are; come on you are supposed to be living your life remember."  
  
"You don't want a cranky pregnant woman with you ruining your night."  
  
"First of all you are only four months pregnant, and so what if you are does that mean you cant have fun." OC knew she had to win this one.  
  
"I don't want to go to crash like this" Max said gesturing to her belly.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I'm already all fat." Max was almost out of arguments and she knew it.  
  
"You are barley showing." OC knew she had already won.  
  
"You aren't going to let this go are you?" Max said exsasperahted.  
  
"Fine, fine I will go, but the first minute I want to go, you drive me home." Max gave in  
  
"Admit it you are having fun boo" they were sitting together at the Bar OC with a beer max with milk  
  
"It's not completely horrible" she couldn't admit she was glad she came  
  
" I will take that as a thank you for making me go out Original Cindy; and so your welcome." Max saw OC checking out a girl across the club. "go"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I saw you just eye that girl over there, go do your thing."  
  
"I'll be back soon"  
  
"Take your time." Max sat alone for a minute just enjoying being at her old hangout. But then a sleazy creep had to sit down next to her wearing way to much colon  
  
"It's a shame." His voice made her skin crawl.  
  
"What?" She asked in a voice that was clearly not interested in the answer.  
  
"A beautiful woman like you being left all alone like this."  
  
"Yeah, but im not alone."  
  
"Can I buy you a drink?"  
  
"I have one" she said raising her glass of milk  
  
"How bout I buy you a real drink." He looked her up and down like a piece of meat  
  
"No thanks" God why wont this guy take a hint she thought.  
  
"How about I buy you a cup of coffee sometime then." That's it he needed to be shut down.  
  
"I don't think my fiancé would like that very much":Max replied raising her left hand and showing of her ring  
  
"My wife wouldn't either but I wont tell him if you don't tell her." It seems he was an even bigger scumbag then he seemed, and it was as if he seemed proud of it.  
  
"But the problem is we are just to opposite you obviously don't care about your wife very much, and I love my fiance."  
  
"Cant blame a guy for trying" He was still eying her how could he still not get that Max wasn't interested.  
  
"But I can blame you for being a scum sucking fucked up little dirtbag"  
  
"Hey boo this lame ass giving you a hard time"  
  
"No he was just leaving."  
  
"Fine ok and your fiance is a lucky man."  
  
"Up the voltage." The colonel ordered as he watched from the good side of a one way mirror into the room.  
  
"Sir I don't know how much more his body can take." The tech warned. Lydecker would be pissed to loose this one he was too valuable.  
  
"Then he had better talk, now up the voltage." They shocked him again but he soon passed out  
  
"Is he dead?" Lydecker asked.  
  
"No he passed out, his body cant take this."  
  
"Then put him back in his cell, we can begin again tomorrow." Lydecker then took his leave.  
  
"He's gone." The tech said softly.  
  
"Thanks for that Jim."  
  
"Sorry I cant do more Logan." "If you got us out I could get us away they would never find us."  
  
"They found you once." The tech pointed out.  
  
"No they found her I just happened to be with her at the time."  
  
"The one they question you about, your girl?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why don't you just give them what they want?"  
  
"Cause I love her." Logan said plainly.  
  
"Now you know why I cant get you out, they would kill my girl and my kids, and I love them Logan I can't risk it."  
  
"When I do get out of here Jim, I will work on a way to get you and your family away, I promise."  
  
AN: see you guys I could never really kill Logan, well I did in that one story but that's different. I will resolve all this but I still need a title and reviews to do so 


	5. 5

Well it's that time of year, finals but instead of studying I do this. Actually I am probably going to write a lot this week to avoid studying and life as much as humanly possible. I HATE ABSTRACT ALGEBRA.  
  
"Ahem" Max cleared her throat loudly making the repressed republican finally look up and notice that she was standing there at the counter. "Well, well, well, look at what the cat dragged in. What in the hell do you think that you are doing here girlie after the way you just stopped showing up. If you are looking for your job back you can forget it I have enough slackers working here as is." Normal barked at her. "Let's just say I had a medical reason for missing work." Max almost laughed at her former boss, who obviously had not been filled in on her condition by any of her ex coworkers. She backed away from the counter making visible her very large stomach. "Dear god your knocked up. There should be laws that keep you from passing along those genes, and the same probably goes for whomever left you like this in the first place." Normal was slammed against the wall. "Even in my condition I can still kick your ass, so don't you ever and I mean ever speak about my baby or her father that way again. You here me you son a bitch?" "Sure whatever just put me down." He managed to croak out. He was let go suddenly causing him to collapse to the ground. He moved his hand up to rub his sore throat. "Now where's my girl we supposed to be having lunch." Max said not even acknowledging what had just passed between them. "Boo!" OC shouted as she walked into Jam Pony. "Never mind, found her." Max said walking away. "Hey girl, how you feeling today?" OC said walking over to her very pregnant friend. "Like a hippo." "Relax in two weeks the pregnancy will all be over and you will have a little boo. Now you ready for food?" "Yeah I just gotta pee." Max said walking back to the bathrooms. "So why didn't you tell me when I asked what happened to Max?" Normal asked of OC as soon as Max had walked away. "It was none of your damn business." "Why is she so emotional about the father does she not know who it is?" Normal continued his questioning. "Actually he is that really great rich guy you met a few times Normal." "What happen, he leave her when he found out?" Normal obviously didn't seem to know when to shut up. "No he died." That shut him up fast "You ready to get food girl." OC said to Max as she came back. "I am always good for food."  
  
"This is so good girl I cant believe you made this." They were eating at the penthouse and despite OC's worries she was enjoying Max's cooking. "Why not I got lots of skills." Max stated defensively. "Yeah, but cooking never used to be one of them." "Well I figured I had to learn. I made a lot of food this week and froze it so I wont have to cook for a while after she is born." damn I guess you did girl." OC looked into the gigantic refrigerator freezer and saw them both completely stocked with precooked meals there was enough for weeks. "I might have gone a tad bit overboard" "you think" "I just thought it made sense the last thing I will want to do right after she is born is cook." "Any closer to picking out a name, so we can stop saying just she or the baby?" "Not yet. I think I just need to see her first and see what she looks like. It's sad I actually have this urge to not name her at all and let her pick out her own name."Max confessed. "Like you did?" "Actually, Tinga named me we all named each other." "Then you should name her." Max's friend reasoned with her. "I know, but the only name I really wanted was Logan Jr., but I don't think that works." "No it doesn't" OC said with a smile. "ow" "You ok girl?" Cindy was worried that wasn't a the baby kicked me ow. "Yeah just a little pain....ow" "you sure?" "Yeah.......no call sam." Max said sitting back down and grabbing her belly. "Max what's wrong?" "Nothing, but I need a doctor to deliver my baby so call him now." Max's face contorted in pain as the contraction got stronger. "Your in labor?" Cindy was too stunned to move for a second. "Yes and I want drugs!" Max was half yelling in the pain that was already coming. "Lots and lots of drugs to make this better so get Dr. Carr now!"  
  
"There is something different about him today sir." One of the new techs reported to Lydecker. "What is it?" "He not only wont talk, but it's like he doesn't even hear you." "His brain activity?" "All normal his mind is fine sir it just isn't really here." "It probably got overloaded we will never get anywhere like that take him back to hiss cell let him rest for a few days before restarting treatments."  
  
"Your doing great Maxie just breathe." "Get away from me!" She screamed at her brother as the drugs started to ware off. "Max don't yell at Zack he is just trying to help." OC tried to help Max's brother out. "He is a man, men do this to women and then we have to suffer. It isn't fair men should have to suffer too" Max was holding Zack's hand as she was yelling through this contraction. When it had passed she looked down at Zack's hand, she could tell the pinky was broken. "Zack I'm sorry I didn't mean too." She was back to crying now. "It's fine I'm strong, and so are you, you can do this ok." "Ok Max it's almost time to start pushing." Sam spoke up from the foot of the bed. "I'm not ready yet, Logan's not here. I cant do this without him." Max cried "I know Maxie, he can't be here, he's gone, but I am here and Cindy is here and Sam is here and you will be fine." "Wait Zack in Logan's top drawer there is a little box can you get me it." Zack retrieved the box for max took out the ring with which Logan had proposed and handed it too Max. Her fingers had swollen and it was too painful to wear it all the time, but she needed it now. She squeezed it back onto her finger. "I'm having our child as your fiancee Logan. I should have married you. I'm sorry." Max was speaking out load to her dead husband bu right then no one found it weird. "Ok Max push." "I love you Logan." "ok I see the head come on Max a big push"  
  
"Looogaaaannnn!"  
  
"Max" He whispered to the dark lying on a cot alone in his cell.  
  
AN I know the spacing is bad on these but I cant seem to help it when I upload stories sorry. And I still need a title for this thing help me out. 


	6. 6

"Logan where are you?" Max turned over in her boyfriends bed her voice groggy with sleep.  
  
"I'm here love." Logan was looking down at her from his side of the bed.  
  
"I had the worst dream."  
  
"It's ok it was just a dream." He cupped her cheek with his palm and she relished the comfort she found in the warm strengh of his hand.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
____________________________  
  
"Max" This wasn't Logan's voice she turned towards the new voice but when she turned back to Logan he was gone, just another fantasy, just another dream.  
  
"Max?" She turned towards the face of her best girl OC who had the biggest goofy grin she had ever seen.  
  
"Hey" It took Max a minute to get her bearings to remember she had just passed out while giving birth. "My baby is it ok, where's my baby?":  
  
"Shh calm down. It's ok your little girl is ok, Sam is just cleaning her up a bit." Cindy spoke to Max as if she were a child. "You just blacked out for a minute there."  
  
"I want my baby." Max said desperately able to hear her daughters cries for the first time from the other room.  
  
"Hi Max I see your awake." Sam said coming into the room with a bundle in his arms. "There is someone I want you to meet, say hello to your daughter." Sam said placing the tiniest little baby girl into Max's arms. Max's face immediately broke into her grin that was once reserved only for Logan the one that made her entire face light up, letting the world know how incredibly happy she was.  
  
"Hi there I'm your mommy." Max said to the tiny baby starting to calm slightly in her mothers care. "I love you so much baby girl."  
  
"You know what you gonna name her?"  
  
"Eva," Max said without pause, "Eva Elizabeth Cale" A tear escaped her eye fallowed by a second. "I love you Eva, I don't know quite how this is gonna work, but I'm gonna love you and take care of you forever I promise. And your daddy loves you too honey." Max paused for a second. "God she looks just like him." Eva did look just like her father. She had a little tuft of blond hair and those bright blue eyes that were unmistakably Logan's. Eva started to cry again so Max did what came naturly to her she held her close and rocked her slightly and sang softly. "Dry your eyes baby of mine. Don't you cry baby of mine. Rest your head next to my heart, never to part, baby of mine." Everyone cleared out of the room giving Max some time alone with her new daughter. Eva had stopped crying and was looking up at Max with bright eyes. "God you are so beautiful so beautiful, I love you. So I'm your mom I guess I should introduce myself I am Max Guevera, I know were gonna have different last names it's a little strange. See Your daddy's name was Logan Cale he's the handsome man in the picture over there." Max said pointing at the picture on the nightstand, she knew that her babby being only about an hour old didn't know what she was saying but she also knew she needed to say it. "I never got to marry daddy, so I didn't change my last name but I figured you should have your daddy's name. And that brings up something else, it looks like it will just be you and me kid. There's a hole bunch of people who love us a lot and will be there for us, but for the most part it is the two of us were a team. And I promise I am gonna love you and take such good care of you and daddy is gonna watch out for us from heaven ok. Im gonna take you not crying as an I understand and love you too. Now what do you say we have you meet some of your extended family." Zack hearing this from outside the room came in "You called"  
  
"Yeah Eva wanted to meet her family." Max turned Eva slightly so they could see her. "Eva this is your Uncle Zack he likes to protect us. And this is Original Cindy you will have lots of fun with her. And this is Bling, who you should listen to cause he is very wise. Everyone this is Eva." Off course Eva once again started to cry. Max took her first stab at feeding her new babby before rocking her to sleep and soon after falling asleep herself.  
  
_____________________________________________ "Max I know your awake I'm not gonna hound you you can open your eyes."  
  
"Thanks girl, did she wake up at all?"  
  
"No she's been sleeping soundly for a while, Eva it was your sisters name right?"  
  
"Yeah she died at manticore it kinda seemed right for me to name her after her."  
  
"Where did Elizabeth come from?"  
  
"I liked the name."  
  
"Max I know the types of names you like they are short powerful gender neutral names I know Elizabeth was not picked out of the blue now where did you get it from."  
  
"Logans mothers name was Elizabeth, I thought it sounded pretty."  
  
"And Liz dose make a great nickname."  
  
"Uh uh not liz, I think I like Lizzy. Lizzy Cale. Do you think that was ok naming her Cale."  
  
"I think it was wonderful, I bet Logan loves it."  
  
"Good, so do I. Look at her look at how perfect she is, I just wish Logan could see her and she could meet him. I wish she got to know what a great man he was and how much he would have loved her. And I can't believe he wont be here to see her grow her first steps her first word her first date her wedding."  
  
"Trust me sugar she will know about him and how he would of loved her you will do a great job letting her know. And I am sure your boy is in heaven smiling down right now."  
  
____________________________________________________  
  
"823! Prisoner 823 it is time for your meel get up or no food today." Logan just lay there he didn't care about eating today he wanted to get back to sleeping. He had been dreaming about Max being in their room with her, she looked tired and confused but there was something making her happy. Logan wished he could be there to share in that happieness. Maybe if he could just get back to sleep.  
  
__________________________________________  
  
"The user you are trying to reach is not availible, leave a message after the beep or press 5 for more user options...beep!"  
  
"Hey it's jim I need to actually speek with you it's important I have a weekend of actual leave in two months the seventeenth I will call this number again trust me you will want to talk to me Zack."  
  
______________________________________ AN: I've been away for winter break I am finally sorta settled back in so I took the time to write sorry bout the delay. Oh and I NEED lots of good sugestions for an actual title or even if I leave it so people can find it at least a sub title for me cause it's driving me crazy that it is called I don't know. 


	7. 7

"Hey Lizzy what do you say you think we should go up there? Yeah? Come on let's go up. Max baby talked to her daughter. Well let's just hope you take after me and like it up high and arn't terrified like dady, although I took dady up here a few times and once he even took me up here it was our one month aniversery. This place meant a lot to us. It used to be my special place, then it was mine and dady's now it can be ours. Were gonna go see daddy after this ok, but I think he might have a better view from here." Max said as she reached the top of the observation deack of the space needle. "This place was very special to me and daddy I took him up here when I told him we were family and we had our very first kiss up here we had this big fight vecause he was ignoring meand I ran away and came up here. Logan came up here knowing this is where I would be and he went out on the edge right next to me even though he is terrified of heights. He said he was sorry, he did care about me that I was the most important thing in his life and he was going to start treating me that way. He said he loved me and kissed me and we were together ever since. We didn't spend one full day apart after that moment. Up here I can feel it lizzy I can feel him looking down at us. I hope that you can feel it too babe." Max spoke to her baby and then looking out at the sky talked to Logan. "I miss you Logan I miss you so much you died a year ago today. I thought that it should be easier by now at least a little bit. But it isn't getting any easier Logan, Every day without you is worse. Lizzy is growing up so fast and you don't get to see any of it. Logan wherever you are I love you and I miss you and I promise we will find each other again somehow, we always find each other."  
  
"You've reached Michelle if you leave me a good message I might get back to you if I am avoiding you I am probably sitting here now listening to this screening my calls and in that case I wont be getting back to you."  
  
"Yeah very cute message, I need to talk to you if you call me at..."  
  
"Zack, I'm here I'm here what is it?"  
  
"Michelle?" He wasn't asking if it was her, he was asking about the alias.  
  
"I like the name."  
  
"I liked your last one"  
  
"I need to see you come tomorrow to the place we met last time I will see you then." Zack said before hanging up on Syl  
  
"Hey big brother" Syl said getting Zack's attention as he came into Crash. "You better come give your sister a hug. Zack complied coming over and giving his sister a hug "I've missed you Zack but I know that this is business not social, so what's up?"  
  
"We can't talk here, we'll take my bike back to my place." Zack turned and walked out of the bar Syl right behind him. He got on the Bike Syl getting on behind him. Syl was surprised when they pulled up to Maxies place.  
  
"You moved in with Maxie?"  
  
"No she lives at Logan's place, did since before... Cindy moved in there with her and the baby after help take care of both of them." Zack explained with a tone that was so full of emotion Syl barely recognized it as Zack's.  
  
"How long have you been living here?"  
  
"About a year."  
  
"What ever happened to staying on the move for safety?"  
  
"I stay here now for her safety."  
  
"Aww your finally acting like a brother, I'm so proud of you." Syl teased but on seeing the look on Zacks face moved on. "So what is it you needed to tell me."  
  
"I came across some intel...Logan is alive they faked his death, they are holding him there."  
  
"Zack what, who has him."  
  
"Manticore, they grabbed him to try to get to Maxie. They found out about eye's only but wont kill an asset. From what I know they haven't been able to get anything out of him about Maxis and her whereabouts, and he covered his tracks well they can't find anything on there own. They are trying to reprogram him and send him back out to kill Maxis or take her in himself."  
  
"So what do we do?"  
  
"We are going to break him out."  
  
"No we can't hit that side of the fence there are posts from too many sides...Zack why are we doing this here?" Syl asked suddenly in the middle of planning. "Max doesn't know about any of this does she?"  
  
"No and I would prefer that it stay that way until he is back."  
  
He's Max's boyfriend she has every right to know that the father of her child is still alive." Syl argued with her brother.  
  
"No If she knows she would want to go with us we wouldn't be able to stop her and what woulg happen to lizzy if she lost max too."  
  
"We can convince her to help from a distance."  
  
"I don't think we could, and even if we could, what happens if he dies or if we can't get him out what then. You didn't see her when he died, you weren't with her for those months, she was shattered, she wouldn't eat or sleep, if she wasn't an X5 she would be dead right now. Even with her revved up dna without the baby I don't think she would have made it anyway. She almost died the first time she lost him I'm pretty sure if she lost him all over again she would really die."  
  
"I was joking before about being proud of you, but I really am you knnow you are a great brother."  
  
"My contact inside is a med tech didn't know what he was getting into untill it was too late wants out. He has been one of the ones working on logan but really he is switching out the drugs for painkillers to help him and faking the tests. Logan has been looking for a way out along with the tech. The basic idea is to get them here not to his usual lab, but to the emergency exam room they use for soldiers near the northwest entrance here. You create a diversion here getting the guards to leave him and I will have already slipped inside posing as a soldier of manticore. As soon as the guards leave I go in you take out the security uplink and we slip out."  
  
"How do they get to the room in the first place."  
  
"Logan is going to fake a seziure during morning transport it is the closest room they will use it."  
  
"And what did you want for a distraction."  
  
"I figured c4 at the perimater would be nice."  
  
"And to hack into security." Syl added the next logical component.  
  
"I got some of Logan's computer equipment it should do Max doesn't go into that room so she wont notice it's gone."  
  
"Lydecker knows what you look like Zack how do you get in without being recognized?" Syl was worried if he can't get in that would leave them at square one.  
  
"I wont be me. I will be my clone there is one in another group he is on a mission reporting directly back to base when his objective is complete. I change my barcode to 601 and shave my head instant clearence."  
  
"Don't you think it's risky"  
  
"Don't you think it sounds like fun." Zack countered with a glint in his eye.  
  
"When does this take place?" Syl said looking at the schematics hoping it was at least a week if not more.  
  
"39 hours from now....It will work Syl........It has to."  
  
"Logan were getting out." Jim said to Logan as soon as he could.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I gotta hold of my contact on the outside he was very interested in getting both of us out of here said his name was Zack and you would know him."  
  
"Zack is your contact." Logan couldn't believe his ears.  
  
"Is something wrong, is this guy not legit?" Jim started to panic.  
  
"No this is good, ...so what's the plan?"  
  
"Lizzy come on you can do it."Max encouraged her daughter who was standing on her own thinking of taking her first attempt at steps.  
  
"come on baby boo" OC said standing behind Max who was sitting o the floor arms streched tworods her daughter. "oh my good look Lizzy yay you did it!" Max ran over to her daughter and scooped her up in her arms showering the five month olds face with kisses.  
  
"Damn five months old and she already took her first steps" OC said.  
  
"And said three words" added the proud parent.  
  
"You got one smart chica there boo"  
  
"Just like daddy, huh Lizzy?" Max said looking at Liz.  
  
"daa deee" the toddler repeated  
  
AN: review 


	8. 8

An: still writing I know it takes me forever sorry busy. Ok and I stole some half little lines from alias: "we will find each other, we always find each other." And a basic idea from a line from buffy you will know it when you see it but I'm not giving it away. Anyway enjoy....hopefully...well it's my favorite chapter so far.  
  
"We should hit the north end of the fence because it is not exactly opposite but it is far enough away from the exit rout for it to be our distraction." Zack argued loudly with syl, while pointing at the map on his table.  
  
"But I can't get there and back around to pick you up plus what if there is a problem with the explosive or with the hack. We need a third zack."  
  
"We aren't bringing max into this syl, we have gone over this already."  
  
"I wasn't talking about max." Syl cryptically stated.  
  
"Then who are we going to bring in, a civilian?" Zack knew they couldn't trust anybody besides themselves with something like this.  
  
"What about krit?" Syl questioned her co.  
  
"He wouldn't be able to get here in time syl he is too far away." Zack had checked up on krit a few weeks ago he lived neat la defiantly too far to get here in time for them to leave for manticore.  
  
"Actually he is about ten minutes from here right now." Syl said avoiding eye contact with zack she didn't want to tell him this.  
  
"How did you find him syl." Zack half whispered back to her.  
  
"We found each other years ago zack when we were just twelve, and we stuck together over time. We have all found each other and stayed in contact zack. I know it goes against what you want but we are family. We needed each other. The only one we never found was max she was too much like you for too long, constantly on the move, we couldn't find her and didn't know where she was until after you did. I'm sorry we didn't tell you zack, but we lost each other once we didn't want to loose each other again."  
  
"That's why you and krit always seemed to be in cities near each other isn't it?" Syl just nodded. "Give me the number for krit."  
  
"I'll call him zack." Syl half pleaded she did not want zack calling krit when krit had no warning.  
  
"No syl, give me the number."  
  
Ring ring "Hey syl" krit said seeing it was her cell calling him. "I was wondering when you would call I was thinking we could order some chinese food and get a movie and a bottle of wine or two and we could stay in tonight.".  
  
"Drink with a mission tomorrow soldier?" Zack questioned krit.  
  
"Oh hey zack, sorry I thought it was syl."  
  
"Get over here krit. Now." Zack was almost growling into the phone.  
  
Seven minutes later krit was picking the lock letting himself into zack's apartment. "Hey zack hi syl."  
  
"Hi krit." Syl said hugging him hard "i'm sorry." She whispered in his ear.  
  
"Krit" zack said giving him the classic guy hug next. "So how long have you been in town?" It wasn't a friendly question.  
  
"Just arrived this morning, what's the plan to get max's boy out?"  
  
"Well it looks like we are going to need to find a third." Zack stated.  
  
"I'm your man zack you know that." Krit said contused assuming he was here to be the third in there plan.  
  
"Your not going krit."  
  
"Why not?" Krit was getting angry now what the hell was wrong with him.  
  
"How long have you and syl been in love krit?"  
  
"Three years" answered syl "we have been together for three years. How did you know?"  
  
"I'm not dumb, anyway it's why he can't be there with us."  
  
"It's why I have to be there with you two zack." Krit argued gently.  
  
"No, for the same reason that max can't know, she loves logan too much and you love syl too much. Your head wont be on the mission, it will be on her."  
  
"My mission will be doing my job to make sure you two are safe, so syl comes back to me. My mind will be on nothing else." Krit stood tall against his co. "Besides we are going in there risking our lives because you love max."  
  
"Like a sister it is different." Zack cut in.  
  
"Is it? It might be like a sister now zack but don't tell me there wasn't a time when you didn't love her the way she loves logan, the way I love syl. You went back in her place once before sacrificed yourself for her if this turns into a situation where it would be me or syl you think that I shouldn't be there because I would risk my own capture to try to save her then you are a hipocrit. And a fool."  
  
"We are going to take separate cars you will hit the gate here with c4 once syl has hacked the system and I have gotten in."  
  
"Ok so we leave at 1500 hours tomorrow. You can crash at my place with syl too krit." Zack said around seven as they finalized the last of their plans.  
  
"Actually I have a place for the week. I was hoping syl could stay with me tonight zack, why don't you go visit max and lizzy?" Krit suggested to his big brother.  
  
"Why don't you two go see maxie you haven't seen her for too long, and you have to see lizzy she is so cute." Everyone knew what he was implying. This mission was dangerous there was a chance one or all of them might not make it out. He thought they should get to see their sister and niece the ones they were doing this for if this might be there only chance.  
  
"Tomorrow when we succeed, we will see max when we bring logan back to her." Krit knew as well as zack the risk involved, but he didn't want zack or syl to worry about it. And deep down somewhere he knew that no matter how much he wanted to see max and meet her daughter, if it really was his last night the only person he wanted to be with was syl.  
  
"Fine I am going to be staying in the guest room at maxis's then, so you guys might as well crash at my place. It has to be nicer then whatever dump you picked out krit." Zack said as he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. "We will meet here at 900 hours to prep for the mission."  
  
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Syl asked turning her attention toward krit.  
  
"I want to hold you." He whispered wrapping his arms around her waist from behind holding her close to him.  
  
"And then?"  
  
"Then nothing. I am going to sit here and hold you for as long as you like." Krit nuzzled her neck as he spoke.  
  
"How does forever sound to you?" Syl questioned for the first time in there relationship mentioning the word forever.  
  
"it sounds really good honey. I love you."  
  
"I love you too krit"  
  
"Are you scared?" He asked her softly looking her in the eye.  
  
"A little."  
  
"Me too." He admitted in a whisper.  
  
"What are you scared of?"  
  
"I am scared we wont get him out, and lizzy will never know her father, I am scared that zack or I will get hurt or die. Mostly I am scared of losing you. I don't think I could handle it if I lost you syl, I love you too much"  
  
"I know how you feel I don't want to loose you either." She said desperatly kissing him softly.  
  
"We will be ok, even if we get ...lost...we will find each other, we always find each other." Krit spoke in a whisper not sure if he should go on. "Marry me?"  
  
"Are you purposing cause you think we aren't coming back?" She wanted to just believe it was a real proposal, and say yes but she couldn't.  
  
"I am asking because I know we are."  
  
"Then yes I will marry you krit."  
  
"Max." Zack called her name as he walked through the door.  
  
"Zack is that you?" Max called back from the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah it's just me looking for a meal." Zack said walking into the kitchen seeing max putting food on the tabel where lizzy sat in her highchair.  
  
"Good I just finished cooking dinner." "You did, or cindy did?"  
  
"Shut up I have become much better at cooking. We were just going to eat you gonna stay?" "Sounds good." Zack said grabbing a plate.  
  
"Mind if I crash on the couch tonight?" Zack often did this often since logan's death especially after eva was born.  
  
"yes" max said with half a smile.  
  
"You mind?" Zack questioned confused.  
  
"Yeah, you can stay in the guestroom." She said the smile growing.  
  
"I thought that was Cindy's room"  
  
"That was the old one let me show you." Max had converted the weight room into the nursery the guestroom was now OC's room but she led zack to the office. For a long time max couldn't set foot into that room Logan had spent so much time in, it was where she fell in love with him while he was spouting off his ideals. Upon entering the room he saw a nice big bed with a dresser but what stood out was the fact that there was a big partition separating Logan's desk from the rest of the room she couldn't move the desk that was where he headed his crusade. It was a big part of him and she could never let it go."  
  
"It looks great baby sister." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "Now you and Lizzy go get some sleep and I am going to do the same." He said goodnight to his niece and got ready for bed.  
  
===========================================================  
  
"What happened here today soldier?" Lydecker was talking to one of his men. "There was only one intruder, but we believe he had help, we first learned of an incident when we were hit by a small explosive along section 17 of the perimeter fence. We also believe that they had hacked into our security footage and were controlling our camera feed. All we saw that there was a problem with was this fence because of this we didn't see it as an iminate threat and did not go into a full lockdown. when it had been taken care of we noticed about an hour later that the prisoner was gone. We got the footage, the real footage from then and believe that this man posed as x5-601 and got in then helped the prisoner to escape."  
  
"it's 599" lydecker inturupted looking at the picture of zack.  
  
"That's what we had figured. he came in unnoticed, took out the only guard with the prisoner and they walked calmly out."  
  
"Why was the prisoner in that unsecured room to begin with soldier?"  
  
"I am told he had a seizure on the way to interrogation and it was the nearest exam room." "And the lab tech that was with him?" Lydecker demanded.  
  
"He is gone too lydecker sir."  
  
"So the people on the inside were actively helping and not just going along with the brake in?"  
  
"it appears that way sir"  
  
"So they were in communication." Lydecker reasoned.  
  
"yes we believe so sir"  
  
"how?"  
  
"we don't know yet sir"  
  
"and how did they hack the system?"  
  
"we are not sure"  
  
"do we have any leads?"  
  
"Not at this time sir"  
  
"Then I suggest you get to work since there seems to be a lot to find out soldier." Lydecker said invading his space threatening the young soldier.  
  
==============================================================  
  
They had done it. The plan had gone smoothly zack got logan and the jim, the lab tech, out, they met syl who drove them to the rendezvous point with krit. There the jim took krit's car thanking them for getting him out as well, and he left on his own. The rest drove back to seattle, back to max. Logan was going home  
  
Logan asked about max in the car on the way back to seattle. The three x5's told him some things, that she was ok but she missed him she lived in te penthouse with oc she didn't know logan was alive. They told him about the manticore faking his death, how there had been a funeral, and how max had made the eyes only brodcast in his memory, he would have to change his name at the very least now.. They didn't tell him what max had gone through and they didn't talk about lizzy, these were things max needed to tell him.  
  
They arrived hours later and went right to the penthouse it was late now and no one was up. "I'll go get her." Zack said but was stopped by syl's gentle arm "Let him go in alone Zack" She said softly. Logan was in shock the at being back in his apartment. He stood staring at the livingroom that had barely changed. The only difference was that instead of one simple picture of he and Max there were pictures of him and him with Max everywhere. Logan entered slowly it was so strange to finally be back, both wonderful but dreamlike. The others entered slowly after Logan, who now was walking towards his old room. "We are crashing here if you need us." Zack said to Logan who barley registered that he spoke. "I'll take the couch." Zack then said to Krit and Syl, "you guys take the guest bedroom, it's the second door on the left, and sleep. It has been a long day and I have a feeling tomorrow will be even longer."  
  
Logan slowly opened the bedroom door and saw his angel. He had the urge to wake her, and kiss her, and tell her what happened, and tell her he loved her, and to tell her he would never leave her again, but they had all the time in the world for that. Now he just wanted to hold her. So he took off his shoes and socks and his cloths finding a clean pair of his old sweats still in the drawer . Slowly tentatively he slipped into bed next to his love. Even in sleep she snuggled up right next to him he wrapped his arms around her and for the first time in a long time they both felt happy and at peace and for the first time since he "died" they slept in solace.  
  
====================================================================  
  
"Do you Logan take this woman to be your wife to have and to hold to love and to cherish from this day forward?" "I do" Max loved this dream, she had gotten to the point that she knew they were dreams even when she was having them but she didn't care she still loved them. "Do you max take this man to have and to hold".....the dream slowly started to fade away, 'no I want to sleep' thought Max as her body woke. . Gladly she found she was now just in another dream when she opened her eyes Logan was in bed with her, holding her. Looking up there was the picture of Lizzy on the night stand. Something was wrong, this was not how the dream went. In this dream it was always the same; it was the morning of the day he proposed. Lizzy didn't exist yet in the dream,...'oh my god I'm awake!'  
  
Max ran from the bedroom into the living room finding Zack on the couch. "Zack get up! help, there is a man in my bed that looks like Logan." Zack was up on his feet fully awake. "Max come here sit down." "No. What is going on? Zack tell me." Zack let out a sigh he didn't know how to tell her. "That is Logan, Max he didn't die, it was Manticore. They took him to get to you. We broke him out yesterday Max, it's real that is Logan." Max walked toward Zack slowly and calmly then slapped him hard on the face. "Don't you dare joke about Logan Zack it's sick to do this to me." "I'm not pulling a practical joke Max, it is Logan I promise you." It finally started to register to Max that this was real, that it really was Logan in the other room. Max fell apart crying and hitting his chest "why didn't you tell" me she cried out choking on her tears. Syl and Krit entered the room but stayed back this was going to be a lot for max to wrap her head around and they didn't want to interfere yet. Logan who was woken by Max's absence, he walked into the livingroom instantly steeling Max's attention. She turned toward him, for the first time taking in his appearance. He was thin, Manticore obviously had not been feeding him often. There were restraint marks on his wrists and ankles and even on his neck. There were cuts, welts, and other signs of torture visible on his arms, but she had never seen anything more beautiful, and Logan felt the same about Max. They didn't speak but slowly walked towards each other and then kissed briefly before just holding each other. They whispered nonsense words to each other. I love you, I'm sorry, missed you, never leave me, I thought you were dead, I love you. They kissed again, but it was quickly interrupted by the sound of a baby crying.  
  
"I got it." Zack said, "You two need to talk."  
  
"Logan, I have some things to tell you." Max said as she led them over to the couch and sat him down.  
  
"What is it?" Logan said holding her hand tight. It wasn't that he was scared about what she was about to say, he just couldn't be not touching her now that he had her back.  
  
Max couldn't find the words to tell him about Lizzy, so she told him something else. "Yes I will marry you....I kinda decided I was ready while you were gone...see." She said awkwardly holding up her hand with the engagement ring. "That is if the offer is still good?" She had meant for that to sound confident and cocky like the smart ass she was, but it just came out desperately insecure.  
  
Logan smiled at her insecurity, "Of course it is my love." He kissed her softly.  
  
"There is something else," she took his hand and led him to the nursery where now Zack was with Krit and Syl. They stood back as Max and Logan entered the pale yellow room. "Logan," Max announced as she picked up Lizzy and brought her over to Logan, "I would like you too meet Eva Elizabeth Cale, your daughter...our daughter."  
  
AN:wow it's been a while and my eyes hurt from staring at this screen so all I will add is please review.  
  
TITLE WILL CHANGE WITH NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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